Regular Jean #1

Hey All

I have decided to up my cyber commitment and write to you more regularily. I am going to call these scratchings/musings/rants 'Regular Jean'.

So. Here I go. My first edition. The pressure is killing me! Ok. Take a deep breath.

Hmmm.. The thing is when I think about what I actually think about, it disappears! Perhaps because when we turn the spotlight on our thoughts, they become a bit silly and embarrassing. And lets face it, we are contrary beasts, so of course as soon as one wants to put some of these thoughts down on paper (or screen rather) they instantly disappear and all one is left with is mocking blankness. ---------------------

This is fun innit.

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat it, and realise that the thought of eating it is more exciting than actually eating it, and afterwards you feel slightly ill.

I wished I was Forrest Gump when I was a kid. I remember watching it at Avoca Beach cinema with my Mum, and when we came out I said quite precociously, "I am a bit like Forrest Gump, aren't I Mum". She just laughed and said "No". It hurt my feelings a bit, but she was right.

Mum was right about a lot of things. She was right when she said the music biz wouldn't be enough to keep me really satisfied. She was right when she said that just because I was a chubby dork in high school, it wouldn't necessarily stay like that forever.

I am now, of course, a 'skubby' dork. This is a word my wife Jen Sholakis and I made up for my body, and it applies to many other bodies, especially of the musician variety. It's basically skinny but flabby at the same time. Yeah so I feel pretty much the same as I did in high school, except skubby, and I am just more ok with it now.

I don't think anyone really changes deep down. I think we just get more ok with who we are as we get older. Or we never become ok with it and turn in to

Anyway. This has been my first edition of 'Regular Jean'. Next time it might be less weird and i'll talk about 'issues' or books I am reading or something.

Take care

Laura J